(Sorry this post is so long D:)

I am really sick of being groped without my consent all the time, and I think sexual battery should be taken more seriously.  If you just randomly go up to someone and touch them inappropriately without their consent, then you’re disgusting and deserve a good punch in the face.

Okay, I think I’d best start from the beginning with this. So, as far back as I can remember, my parents have loved to smack my butt or squeeze one of my butt cheeks. They did it about once a week when I was younger, but now I can hide myself in my room so it’s only once a month each. I think they just see it as a joke or whatever, although I do note that they never do it in public so maybe they do know it’s wrong on some level. Now they’re great parents in all other respects, and I still love them. They’ve spent tones of money on me; they’re even willing to pay all of my university fees. But I really wish they didn’t do it. I’ve begged, pleaded, but they just laugh and tell me to stop overreacting or they promise they won’t and then two days later they do it again. I hate how it makes me feel. When they do it I just feel like my feelings don’t matter to them, I feel like I’ve lost all control, and I feel really really dirty. It makes me curse the body parts I have that have been violated. Nowadays I always get dead nervous if anyone stands behind me. Not only that, but I completely flip out if anyone in public gropes me, because it reminds me off all the previous times. I hate how everyone can witness me being so helpless and embarrassed. I hate how sometimes, when I try sleep, I can’t and all the times it’s happened replay in my head. And yes, it probably is pathetic to get this nervy about someone only touching me, and no, you don’t have to tell me that at least I’m not starving in Africa for the millionth time. Look, maybe it is pathetic, but I can’t help how I feel. I can’t help that it makes me feel that way. And I don’t deserve to feel this way.

Now, if it can get me that wound up, and I’ve only been touched, can you imagine what it must be like for an actual victim of rape when someone gropes them without their consent!? When they have to re-live being nothing but someone’s sexual pleasure again.It makes me shudder just thinking. So if someone touches you, then you should always be able to tell someone, and have them punished. And don’t say you always can, because you CAN’T.

So there was one guy in my old school, creep loved to touch me. At first he just said stuff, like “I want to cum on your tits.” Or “Baby ride me like you ride your horses.” Which I shrugged off, I could deal with it. Stuff like that was said to me every day, it was just a part of the whole school equation. Anyway, then one time he got a towel and whipped my ass with it, what’s more it hurt. I told a teacher, and I told her the stuff he said before, and they just went over and said “Hey don’t whip people okay?” As if that would fucking stop him. In fact, it made him worse. He should’ve gotten at least a week’s worth of detention and a phone call home.  Instead he started laughing about how what he did had me uncomfortable. Then two days later in the hall he grabbed my breast, clearly enjoying himself at my expense and fear. I was trapped with all this, if I told a teacher again the same shit would happen, he’d be able to laugh at me even more. So I let it go. Anyway, he stopped a while after that.  But about six months later, he started mucking around with me and a friend as we were leaving the school building. He kept putting his arm around her, fluttering his eyes and saying “Hey babe, wanna go out with me?” Even though she asked him to stop. I looked at those eyes and I had this strong urge to claw them out of his skull. But I fought it down and politely asked “Please can you leave her alone?” But he wordlessly responded by going behind me and squeezing my left butt cheek. Well, I truly snapped at that point, like the rage boiling in my stomach was pouring out of me. How dare he? How dare a scumbag who didn’t even know what an atom was in science class touch me that way? I needed to be in control again. So, I turned round and tried to whack him with my school bag. He used his arm to block his face, which just enraged me even more. If I had to take what he did, and if he just caved in to his urges, then he would suffer at that hands of my urges. I rammed him up against the wall, just ramming my shoulder against him and the wall again and again. I loved how afraid he looked, it just drove me further and further. I deserved the pleasure it gave me. Then I started to claw at his face, I wanted to get at his eyes. A teacher ripped me off at that point, and as you can expect I got in bucket loads of trouble for this. The teacher ranted in my face for about ten minutes that no matter what he did I should’ve just told someone. Even though I already tried that, and I was provoked. I tried to explain but she wouldn’t hear of it. Sure I deserved punishment, quite a lot of it too. But so did he. I’m sorry, but he deserved way more that what I had done, because I wasn’t the only one who suffered because of him.  Anyway, after that I broke down in tears with my friends on the way home. I was just so tired of going to a school in which every day boys made rude comments about my body, and a school where I had to be paranoid that I would be touched. I already had that at home; I couldn’t cope with it at school too. The funny thing is, afterwards the guy was terrified of me. He never touched anyone again, or at least whilst I was at that school. So violence solved the problem.

I have other examples too. A guy on my bus kept fiddling with my bra strap. I asked again and again for him to stop, and he just kept doing it. Everyone was surprised at how angry I got, and later when I demanded he apologise he just said “C’mon, you know you enjoyed it.” And here’s another, a guy in my gym class. First he touched my thigh. I pushed his hand away and politely told him that I didn’t like it, but of course he didn’t listen. He then went on and touched my breasts twice, my butt once, and he’s done even worse stuff to my friend too. Every time I’ve fought the urge to hurt him, apart from the second time he touched my breast, then I cut his hand with my nails. I hate this. I hate fighting against my rage all the time. Because I’m learning how to hurt people in order to solve problems, and I’m risking seriously getting in trouble. I might ruin my life because of these idiots who keep touching me make me so angry.

So yeah, I know so far this has been me simply telling events from my perspective. But it’s to try and get across how horrible being groped without consent can be. Obviously it’s no-where near as much of a problem as rape but it still needs to be addressed. That’s why:

1. It needs to be taken seriously, even if it’s just a one-time occurrence, the person who violated you should be made to regret their decision by whoever is in charge.  Especially in schools, which are places with a lot of teens that are struggling, who don’t need the fear of being touched piled on top of everything else.
2. If the reason you attacked someone is that they constantly violated you regardless of you asking them to stop, then you should not be as severely punished as if you attacked them for no reason.